I think it's time for a more uplifting blog. I'll tell you about a conversation the Lord and i had last night, for they are always uplifting. As i lay in bed, considering the day's events, i began to feel frustrated with myself (a frequent occurence these days). My inibility to reach my own standards was leading to a long term dissatisfaction with my life. I watch movies and i see some incredible (as my friend Catherine would call them, 'Edgy') characters, like the Psychologist guy on Good Will Hunting that Robyn Williams plays, and i say "God, why can't i be like that? He's so darn cool." I wanna be good at everything, yet i feel just average at everything, just to be some sort of genius in one area would be amazing, in fact that would be better at being good at everything. I'd want to be a musical genius, with the ability to perfectly express a feeling faultlessly through music, or an experience, through a variety of styles. It'd be heaven. But the fact is, i'm not. And as i was lying in bed last night feeling frustrated at God for my inability to express a feeling faultlessly through music, God gently whispered "Child, you're missing the point." Ah, i thought. "I've given you a talent, it's not how great or small that talent is, it's what you do with it, the heart you use it with and the glory you bring to me with it that matters." Then i saw a picture of his glory, and felt his presence, and knew that that should be the focus of everything i do, not whether i'm good enough at doing something. (I must point out here that this is not the first time the Lord and I have had this conversation; i'd just fogotten the lesson he'd taught me before on the ship last year, as i was about to give up playing piano because i wan't good enough in my own eyes. I'm a slow learner.) So what a musician might call bad, if done with passion and a pure desire to bring glory to God, the Lord hears as beautiful. Who's opinion am i looking for? And as i've known Doug Heffernan point out, music so often becomes performance orientated rather than God focused. Is it the notes we play, or the offering of our ability whether great or small as a sacrifice with a pure heart? Well it's barely a question is it, with an answer so blindingly clear, i guess it's just a case of remembering it whenever we even think about making a sound.
10 April 2006
I think it's time for a more uplifting blog. I'll tell you about a conversation the Lord and i had last night, for they are always uplifting. As i lay in bed, considering the day's events, i began to feel frustrated with myself (a frequent occurence these days). My inibility to reach my own standards was leading to a long term dissatisfaction with my life. I watch movies and i see some incredible (as my friend Catherine would call them, 'Edgy') characters, like the Psychologist guy on Good Will Hunting that Robyn Williams plays, and i say "God, why can't i be like that? He's so darn cool." I wanna be good at everything, yet i feel just average at everything, just to be some sort of genius in one area would be amazing, in fact that would be better at being good at everything. I'd want to be a musical genius, with the ability to perfectly express a feeling faultlessly through music, or an experience, through a variety of styles. It'd be heaven. But the fact is, i'm not. And as i was lying in bed last night feeling frustrated at God for my inability to express a feeling faultlessly through music, God gently whispered "Child, you're missing the point." Ah, i thought. "I've given you a talent, it's not how great or small that talent is, it's what you do with it, the heart you use it with and the glory you bring to me with it that matters." Then i saw a picture of his glory, and felt his presence, and knew that that should be the focus of everything i do, not whether i'm good enough at doing something. (I must point out here that this is not the first time the Lord and I have had this conversation; i'd just fogotten the lesson he'd taught me before on the ship last year, as i was about to give up playing piano because i wan't good enough in my own eyes. I'm a slow learner.) So what a musician might call bad, if done with passion and a pure desire to bring glory to God, the Lord hears as beautiful. Who's opinion am i looking for? And as i've known Doug Heffernan point out, music so often becomes performance orientated rather than God focused. Is it the notes we play, or the offering of our ability whether great or small as a sacrifice with a pure heart? Well it's barely a question is it, with an answer so blindingly clear, i guess it's just a case of remembering it whenever we even think about making a sound.
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2 comments:
Beautiful.
Dave G.
Love you, suz.
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