A case of Severe Discomfort

I'm cold. I've got goose bumps. I could just reach over and put my jumper on, but i'm not going to. I thought, no, what do all the homeless people feel like tonight? What choice to they have when all the shelters are full and the season's turning to winter and the church isn't really doing much about it? I'm uncomfortable knowing that there is a man on the streets of Cardiff named Steve, who is not an alcoholic or a drug addict, who has been on the list to get a house from the council for months. All he wants is a home, "If i don't get a house by Christmas when it's too cold to sleep outside, i don't know what i'm going to do ." Has no-one got a spare room?? Has no-one the love of God enough to love this man?? WHERE ARE THE CHRISTIANS??? I don't see them. I want to be one, but i need some role models and the only ones i know are the ones who write the books i read. I'm not satisfied with this Christianity anymore, the one that meets on sunday mornings, sings songs and drinks tea. How i groan for something deeper and more real. I'd rather spend Sunday mornings with the homeless, because 'Gentle Jesus' is not as meek and mild as people make him out to be, but i want to know more about who he really is, but more so i want to SEE IT.

There are some people in life who you see and you meet, and immediately you know you like them, even before you've heard them speak. "I like you" you think. Then there are those who make your stomach turn because you cannot stand their company, and those who you avoid because they evoke something up in you, a reaction, that makes you surprised at yourself, surprised you could react that way to someone. But as i contemplate these people, of which there are fortunately very few, i feel a whisper saying it is not in comfort that people change, but in discomfort. God's way is not avoidance, nor is it seeing myself better than these people and feling ok with that, because that is not love. It's being vulnerable and forsaking my pride, which is possibly the hardest thing to do, especially when you've been hurt in the past.

This is where i'm at, and my prayers are that the church would stop being comfortable, renounce our pride and start seeking something more, then we meet be more of one mind and body, a community. Community, oh how i ache for it!