A story about a cloud

I've just rediscovered this story that I once wrote some years ago, as I read it back it still holds the same power it did for me then, I hope it does for you too.

I saw myself, standing in a green field.

I had with me ropes, large grappling hooks and a basket. I was on a mission, and that mission was to get to heaven.It was a beautiful day; the sun was shining through the clouds above me, and there wasn’t another soul in sight. I had a plan... If I could just hook my ropes onto a cloud, I had a clever system that I could pull myself up with. It really was awfully clever. I threw my grappling hooks into the air to catch a cloud, but it would not catch. The hooks would not hold, and each time they fell back down. I tried and tried to no avail, when I decided my next try would be my last. No more would I strive for heaven, no more would I strive to know it's secrets. I threw my hook and rope into the air for a final time.... and to my surprise, it caught. I pulled it, and it did not fall back down. I thought I was awfully clever. I tied the rope to the ground and I threw another, the second caught too, then the third, and then the fourth. When all four were firmly in place I affixed my basket and began my ascent. While enjoying the view, smug in how clever I had been, it began to rain. Being so very clever, I had prepared for all eventualities, and I took out my umbrella. But before I had a chance to open it, I saw that the rain was not like normal rain, instead it was crimson red. As I looked in disbelief, I noticed that instead of making me red too, I became white… like it was washing me, making me clean. Confused, I continued my ascent until I reached the cloud, where I pulled myself up and into the blue above. But then the worst possible sight lay before my eyes. I fell to my knees as before me lay a dead man, splayed out on his back. My four grappling hooks were piercing him, one in each hand and foot. The spikes in his limbs had taken the weight of me and my baggage, killing him. I could see the pain on his face, the strain in his body. I’m sorry I cried.I cried and I cried. My tears flowed over him as I removed the hooks from his hands and feet, it's my fault, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. The hooks and the ropes dropped back down to the earth, and I sat there feeling so alone on that cloud, crying. All at once, the man began to move. He groaned, and opened his eyes. My surprise gave way to relief, and my relief to fear, for surely this man would be angry with me? As his gaze found mine, I realized there was only kindness in his eyes. They were so beautiful, like he could see into me. I’m sorry, I said, I’m so sorry. How did this happen? He quietened me and he told me not to be afraid, then began to explain that he saw me trying to reach heaven. You were trying so hard, he said, but your hooks would not hold onto the cloud, they kept falling. I wanted you to come, I wanted you to get here, I wanted to show you everything, so I laid myself down. I caught them because hooked onto me, I knew you would make it.

We were standing now, upon the cloud in the warmth of the day. The man pointed across the sky towards the sun where I saw the gates of heaven. Come with me, he said, I’ve much to show you.

Love Story

from http://www.artakiane.com/gallery

Once upon a time, in an island there lived six feelings and emotions: Happiness, Knowledge, Love, Sadness, Richness and Vanity. One day they discovered that the island began sinking! So all of them built boats and canoes and left, one by one. Except for Love. Love wanted to delay abandoning her beloved island as long as possible.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.
Richness was passing by Love in a boat. Love asked, "Richness, can you take me with you?"

Richness answered, "Sorry, Love, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat, so there is no place here for you. With both of us in here we will sink for sure."

Love next asked Vanity who was also sailing by, but Vanity offered the same answer.
"I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by, so Love asked, "Sadness, take me along with you."
"Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!", sadness said in a gloomy voice.

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so preoccupied with her happiness that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you."

It was an elder with a tattered head scarf. An overjoyed Love jumped into the boat. When they arrived at a dry land, the elder went her own way.
Love looked around and saw the Knowledge who was the first to have landed there a while ago.

"Who Helped me?" Love asked.
"It was Time," Knowledge answered.
"Time? Why time?" Love was surprised.

"Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is." The Knowledge smiled.

What God did for me today #1

²²Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. ²³Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. ²⁴Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! ²⁵Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ~ Luke 12

Today I've felt almost inexplicably happy. I think it has more to do with what God did for me today.

There are 3 things God has specifically asked of me, which I can no longer ignore. These are:

1) To love him like I used to. I used to write letters to God all the time, it's hard to pray so I felt like God couldn't forget my prayers if I wrote them down. As I grew older I lost this habit, and at a Soul Survivor talk a few years ago called 'You don't love me like you used to', He clear as day showed me his pain that I don't write to him anymore. Like he treasured my letters, poured over them, missed them and the intimacy it brought us as I poured out my heart to him.

2) Be creative. I have lost count of the number of times God has told me to use my hands and be creative, both musically and otherwise. A prophesy by Stephan Hugo at the end of my MercyShip adventure said buntly "Your creativity has been slumbering". As I began writing my letters to God again, I asked him: 'What do you want from me?'. He said: 'Creativity'.

3) To open up my life to others. This is why I'm writing this on a blog right now, not because I want attention, but because He wants people to know what he's doing. (What good is a light is if it's hidden?)

It is on count of all three that I'm writing this.

So I got out of bed today and first things first, made myself a cup of tea. Milk was off, tea tasted awful. No milk, no cereal, no money to purchase said food items due to current 'between (real) jobs' life interlude. However, on I go with my daily activities such as application form writing and regular 10 minute facebook notification checks, all fueled by 3 toasted crumpets that had been hiding at the back of the freezer. Head off to job number 1 of 3 at 4pm, trusting that the endless supply of cake and sometimes other food types would see me through the evening. I no longer worry about my lack of food, because the truth is I haven't done a food shop in 2 months and haven't gone a day without eating well. Each day, I experience provision I couldn't have planned - and today would become a perfect example of that. I feel happy at work, I'm surrounded by friends and generally wonderfully banterful people who were all on top form, and naturally, we ate cake. I'd arranged to visit my friend Isabel after work as I hadn't seen her for ages, my crazy big strong black missionary mother Isabel, and though she has so little herself, she's the most generous person I know. She fed me without me asking and we stayed up watching films, talking and laughing until 1am. As I went to leave and before I knew what was happening, she pulled out cheese, potatoes, tins of soup, 2 cartons of milk and a box of cereal.... I hadn't even told her I needed anything.

Previously: The night before, I'd sat down filling in my scrapbook, exercising my creativity. The night before that I'd starting writing a letter to God. I don't believe for a minute that God's provision is dependent upon what we do, as it's not about what we do, it's about who He is. However, when we pray, coincidences happen. When we trust in Him and do as he asks, we harvest peace and joy.

³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ~ Matthew 6

The measure of a man

There was a man talking in church this morning who said this: "I was sitting on the balcony of a church service and paying no attention, adrift in my own worries and thoughts. As if he knew me and what I was thinking, he pointed at me and said 'A man is not measured by his fame or fortune, but by the amount of discouragement he receives and continues to stand.' "

Dear Jesus

Sometimes I don't get you.

You're a mystery to me. Yet you're so intriguing I cannot help but continue to follow you, even though sometimes it's from a distance, and I don't know where you're leading. Just when I think I have it figured, you go and do something I least expect, you're nothing like me. "My ways are not your ways" you say, I say "no kidding".

You trouble me. You let us ponder over you in our ignorance, but you never impatiently jump in without an invite. I wish you would - it would make explaining you so much easier. But you don't fear what we think of you, even those who don't think of you at all, but I do know they trouble you, too.

You annoy me. You're inside me, my heart bursts when you're around, but I get so lonely when you seem far off and you make me wait. Even though you haven't gone anywhere, you let me work it out for myself whilst giving me something of a clue, but you don't do it they way I think you should do.

You own me. But it's like I have no choice, I'm sold out to you now and there's no turning back. We've come too far, you've come through for me every time - when I've put you to the test and you didn't disappoint me, you always gave me what I needed, showed me grace even when I threw it all back in your face.

You love me. It always comes back to this. I've heard it said so many times, but the reality of it I cannot fathom. This is the most mysterious, troubling, annoying thing about you.

I'd understand if you got mad when I made a mistake, if you made me feel guilty about things, if you stopped talking to me when I didn't do want you want, but you don't do any such things.

You are not strict

You are not unkind

You are not irrational

You are not impatient

You are not distant

You are not disinterested

No, you're nothing like me.

So, Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Amazing.

This is an amazing, inspiring true story from a book i'm reading and felt the need to share it, because though miracles happen they only rarely get passed on:

~~~When Heaven Invades Earth by Bill Johnson p. 26-27~~~

"His name was Luke. Like nost of the folks from the streets he and his wife Jennifer had come to the wedding because food was being served. Luke walked with difficulty, needing the help of a cane. He wore braces round each arm, and a large brace around his neck.

Following the meal my brother Rob and i brought them into the church kitchen, asking him about the braces on each arm. He told us him problem was carpal tunnel syndrome. I asked him if he could take the braces off and let us pray. He said yes. (Whenever it's possible I like to remove whatever that person might trust in other than God.) He did so, and we laid our hands on his wrists, commanding the tunnel to open and all numbness and pain to be gone. He then moved his hands freely, experiencing the healing he had just received.

When we asked him about his cane and the obvious problem with his leg, he described how he had suffered a horrible accident. As a result, he had an artificial shin and hip and had even lost half a lung. His walk was laboured and painful. When the surgeons put him back together his leg was an inch too short. I had him sit down and encouraged both him and his wife to watch what God was about to do...... We commanded the leg to grow. It did. When he stood, he shifted his weight from side to side, almost as though her were trying on a new pair of shoes, saying 'Yeah, that's about right'. ...... I asked him to walk across the room, which he did gladly, without a limp and without pain. God was at work......

Next we asked about Luke's neck. He told me he had cancer and was given a couple of years to live..... the brace was necessary because of the loss of muscles in his neck. The brace held his head in place. By this time a group had gathered, not to watch, but to participate. At my request he removed the brace while another man in our church, a medical doctor, safely held his head. ...... i heard the doctor command new muscles to grow. ..... When we were finished, Luke turned his head from side to side. All was restored. He then placed his hand on the side of his neck and exclaimed, 'the lumps are gone!'

His doctor gave him a clean bill of health, and the miracles continued long past the physical healing. Luke and Jennifer began to serve Jesus as their Lord and Saviour. Within weeks Luke got a job, the first time he had worked in 17 years. Jesus heals the whole person.

- Bill Johnson, When Heaven Invades Earth, pp. 26-27.

Great words

I just found a site with some brilliant words: Forthright's favourites.

Omphaloskepsis
om-fe-lo-skep'sis, n (Greek, from omphalos navel and skepsis query, doubt)
Navel-gazing. This extraordinarily rare word is not normally used literally, but instead to refer to the sort of introspective self-analysis all too common in academia and pop psychology. A favourite pastime of postmodern philosophers, especially when used facetiously to refer to the habit of mentally considering everything while ignoring the real world.

Panopticon
pan-op'ti-kon, n (Greek, pan- all and optikon for seeing)
A prison where all inmates can be watched from one point; an exhibition room. The panopticon was an idea of Jeremy Bentham. If a single guard post is erected in the middle of a circular prison, all cells can be seen from that point. Unfortunately, the idea never caught on, though the word was used to apply to a royal exhibition in London roughly organized on such a scheme.

Peccavi
pek-ah-vee, n (Latin peccavi I have sinned)
An admission of sin or guilt. Not only is this word's meaning unique, and its sound very interesting, but it gave rise to the most witty multilingual pun of all time. In 1843, when Sir Charles Napier sent a preliminary dispatch of a single word: "peccavi". The reason: his military victory and conquest of the province of Sind (now in Pakistan). His message: "I have Sind".

Phrontistery
fron'tis-te-ree, n (Greek phrontisterion, from phrontistes a thinker, from phroneein to think)
A thinking-place; a place for study. I simply had to include 'phrontistery' on this list. It was first used by Aristophanes to apply to the school of Socrates, and was somewhat mocking in tone. A peculiar (and under-used) term, I hope to reclaim it for thinking people everywhere. No other term is synonymous, and its intellectual if pompous sound merely adds to its charm.

Selcouth
sel'kooth, adj (Old English sel(d)cuth, from seldan seldom, and cuth, known)
Strange; unfamiliar; marvellous. Combining the sense of strangeness with that of wonder, selcouth is a fantastic self-referential word, being both marvellous and (to most English speakers) entirely unfamiliar. No word is really synonymous with it, and it reflects very well the sense of wonder and amazement at seeing something truly new and unusual. Enjoy it!

A lament.

I thought i'd take the opportunity, while i;m slightly tispy, to pay tribute to how crap i was at open mic tongiht. Granted it was mainly the Student Union's fault fro not providing the right eqipment (there should have been a JACK for the ELECTRIC-ACOUSTIC i borrowed from my friend Luke but there wasn't). I couldn't hear the guitar because the feedback was too bad when the sounds was turned up, so i sang out of tune. I really can sing people. I promise i can. Everyone was talking, it was too loud in my little ears, i like quiet things. I may keep my furutre performances to samll appreciative audiences of one or two people in future, as long as they are very, very quiet. People dont talk through stories, or they miss important bits. So it is with my songs, i bare my soul... dont talk over it. Don't cheapen my feelings. I left early coz i have band practice 2omorrow morning, and i am rather proud t say i am the only one i heard who sang their own songs. The others were very good on guitar and had beautiful voices and yes thats what the audience wanted, but hey. Sometimes new music is worth listening to. Can't wait to release our BabyGrey band ot the world in Jan. It's coming my friends. It's coming.

Somebody

Love me.

In the library... *Gasp* *Shock horror*

I'm feeling smug, as i'm actually sitting in the library, doing my work. It's week 4 now, and i'm finally getting down to it. I've downloaded all my readings, all the lecture slides and i've almost finished writing up my lecture notes in neat. I'm what you could call the True Pretender ~ procrastinating to the level of extreme organisation because i wont write something or read something or actually take something in in a way that increases my knowledge and understanding of my subject, until a sign could be put up above the situation marking it as 'Completely desperate, potentially hopeless'.

Right well i'll get back to my super-organising now, i feel better that i've got that out my system.